random thoughts told you stories

at last he knows that I know. He's trying to explain but I understood. Just about time. And here comes the time. "what do ya think?" "it's okay, I'm on your side." he smiled. "I'm the next." he laughed. I know we both wants to get out of here badly. I just haven't got a chance. I feel so pleased that he finally decides to go, he doesn't suits here-never suits here, and there'll be a huge financially restructuring later on his life. And I know that the decision made will left no regrets. He deserves better, all of us deserves better if we think we deserve better. His decision encourage me to make a better decision of my life, my lifetime career for exact. We have to be brave, take the risk, the result would be worth since we keep the faith in it. All I'm about to say is that for me it wouldn't be easy, but at least I know it's the best for his life. At last, he leaves.

A love story should be bittersweet, but the love that once we shared, for me, is only sweet and sweeter. Because when it feels bitter, we both decide to leave before we start to hurt each other’s. Sweetersweet.

I haven't read The Lover's Dicts by David Levithan, but it's inspiring me already in making a vocabulary about the glimpse of my love story. Starts with G, the 7th letter in the Alphabets, the 7th letter of Lamborghini, your favorite car. 7 is my most favorite number. Period. Genuine . I remember exactly how you love me, because I am the complete package of the true soul, I never pretend, you said to me once.  Gaffe . Your left eye wink to me while we waiting for the dessert, my body response awkwardly that I’m almost fallen my glass. You laugh, my favorite laugh, and you know that I embarassed.  Germane . As a human for 25 years of my age, I’v never seen such a relevant intuition and actions that every single thing you did was appropriate at least to me.  Garamond . I typed randomly on my desktop that afternoon, you came and change the font. You always love being classy. I type this also like you did.  Gesture . “ It is the way you react that f...

I was on the way office this morning by a bus standing in front of occupied passenger seat, enjoying my shuffling playlist, scrolling twitter timelines. One of my favorite 30 minutes of a day. I read one of my favorite Indonesian author tweets while I realize this: that each of us never know enough unless He allow us to know. Meaning: we actually don't know anything, if only we'd mind to realize that He provide us ears to listen, eyes to see, tongue to talk, and heart to feel what's happening around. By all that senses working well, we can manage to know everything. Gratefully grateful?

life is always so surprising that we both thought: we're meant to be together but all around us never thought so the shadow of you slowly diminishing at last

As the entry title told, please pardon for my very confident finger for posting in english. I am struggling you know. And as I'm still on going to improve my lack about the language, I prefer to say that I'm writing in INGLISH (indonesian-english).

In my age, it’s too often I hear them ask. About marriage. I currently enjoy my very own self after having a very bad relationship whatsoever. But i didn't resist that someday, I will find myself in need of somebody to share the rest of my life with. It was the time when I was walking out of my office gate, It was dusk, a little over the office hour. I was approaching the automatic teller machine while I saw this woman. That woman sat at the bench around lobby waiting for her husband to pick her up. The thougth came to me deeply. My heart and thought conspires that time, to pray : “ ya Allah, when will I have that man to share the rest of every second of my life with? I really wanna get settled, please show me the way .” Ever since that time. For me marriage means commitment. Commitment to share every single thing that happens to you. Commitment to compromise. Compromise that life might be hard sometimes but we have to carry it on. Marriage as ...

I've done reading Warm Bodies, a novel about zombies. I read the novel after read the good reviews about its movie, nah instead of going to the theater watching its movie, I'd rather read the stories word by word. " theres no benchmark of how life’s “supposed” to happen Perry, there is no ideal for you to wait around for. The world is always just what it is now, and it s up to you how you respond to it. ” Perry’s Dad. “ everything dies eventually. We all know that. People, cities, whole civilisations. Nothing lasts. So if existence was just binary, dead or alive, here or nor here, what would be the fucking point of anything? My mom used to say that ‘s why we have memory. And the opposite of memory – hope. So things that are gone can still matter. So we can build off our pasts and make futures. Mom said life only makes any sense if we can see time how God does. Past, present, and future all at once. ” Julie to Perry - a glimpse of line from Warm Bodies The future is ...

Have you ever been into a situation where a song can lead you to somewhere on imaginary land that you just felt like happy and something bloomed inside your heart and you spend the whole of your day smiling just because u heard this song? I did, it is a song of Fun, titled The Gambler. The song was so about fairy tale, so about a happily ever after love story that you barely can't find in the real life. The fairy tale story for me is always about those pretty houses with spacious backwards filled with flowers, chirping birds heard all over the day, silver lining from the green trees, the smell of a lovely air, and the laughing sound of happy kids on the front ground. On the front porch there was a pretty couple have a small chit chat with tea and some toast completed by the love in their heart. Ah lovely day for sure and I called it la la la la land :) Hear this song of Fun is made felt that way.

“siapa?” message sent. Seusai membereskan meja dan isi tas cangklongku, aku meneguk setengah gelas terakhir air putih diatas meja, sambil menunggu balasan pesan, aku membuka-buka laman twitter. Nomor tidak dikenal itu t iba-tiba menelepon. Lantunan “youre beautiful” dari James Blunt terdengar hingga refrain, aku enggan mengangkat telepon. Dalam beberapa detik itu aku benci memi k irkan bahwa ketika seseorang tiba-tiba meminta maaf atas kesalahan yang terjadi 2 tahun yang lalu, sudah tentu bahwa luka lama sedang mencoba untuk dibuka kembali. Aku benci mengingat-ingat masa lalu. Why don't you came into my life again just as a stranger?  A complete stranger instead of came in, asking for apology about what have passed? Damn.

It was a fine afternoon after having a tight meeting schedule with partners, I'm preparing to go home, clean up the mess on my desk. And left my desktop on until tomorrow. I love earth and I want to keep it safe but I can't leave alone the mess on my front desktop without reviewing it first, and that afternoon I feel so tired to spend some times before missing my bed so badly. With a massive headache I recieve a message, from the unknown number, asking for apologize. "Amy, I do am sorry for the things we've been through that last two years. Can I pick you home today, after a short conv  with a giant size of gelato? or some earl grey can do?" Tue, Sept 17th 2013, 18.44. Aku bengong. Banget. Siapa?

This blog suppose to be my travel tale's blog, or some kinda photo blog from my camera pocket but my last days post is always about cheesy things and things that I wan to write at the moment. Its because my target of "a post a day". A friend once challenge me to keep consistency in writing, that's why I just want to write anything I can at the moment. Since writing is liberating, its always be.

I was having a late light dinner last night before sleep, switching TV channels and finds out that my most favorite tv serial Royal Pains is the next show on Starworld, it was almost 10 pm. Since I never be in the house during day so I never knew that the new episode is just starting over. Royal Pains is a rom-com TV series follows Hank Lawson, a young emergency room doctor who decided to move to Hamptons after being wrongly blamed for an important patient's deat h. Hank starts his own HankMed there and help poor people for free and at the same time becomes a royal doctor for a wealthy titled Germany businessman who became Hank's first client. The series takes place in Long Island, Southampton, with Oheka Castle is the most prominent place shows in the movie. And it seems like the place where the scenes takes place is the main reason I don't stop follow this tv series, aside of the brilliant doctor of Hank. The clear picture of it made the summer feel so breeze. Oheka...

Suatu kali aku merasa sangat tertekan dengan keadaan di kantor, sekilas tampak dari luar, unit kerjaku menyenangkan, obrolan-obrolanku kepada teman-teman tentang seneng-senengnya bekerja dengan rekan kerja yang masih pada muda-muda itu lebih banyak sebagai kamuflase jadinya, padahal aku bercerita tentang yang sebenarnya hanya kepada sebagian orang yang aku percaya. Suatu kali itu, aku bilang kepada seorang teman dekat, bagaimana inginnya aku ‘kabur’ dari realita kerjaan dengan boss yang demanding itu, bagaimana bobroknya institusi ini padahal aku pun makan dari penerimaan gaji disini, dan banyak hal lain dari segala pikiran negative yang bermunculan seketika. Malam itu aku pulang kerja dan merasa sangat lelah sekali. Begitu jelas bagaimana pikiran-pikiran negative melumpuhkan syaraf-syaraf positif dalam diri, lahir maupun batin. Tulisan ini bukan tentang curhatan (ngarepnya), tapi mungkin akan berguna sebagai self reminder. Seketika setelah aku mengeluh dengan segala keluha...